1. Finishing copy for Young Blood Collective (hell yeah!)
2. Finishing reading the TMF Project ‘You Don’t Need a Job You Need Guts’
3. Reading Undeclared for Life from Puttylike.
4. Find some manual or other on how to reformat my hard drive, and then doing it.
5. Downloading the copy of Photoshop CS 5 Design Suite that I just bought off warezstore.com which is kind of ‘Holy shit’ amazing.
6. Posting randomly to my tumblr over study breaks.
7. Working on blog topics for the next few weeks.
8. Dance break.
9. More recipe finding & posting.
10. Going home to Miami to enjoy the 4th with my love and my friends.

The results of this list of 10 are still to come. Stay tuned, bebes.

7. I am not the only one with a social media addiction!

Yes, it’s true. I remember going into my first internship (a brief stint with the Palm Beach Post, for those who are wondering) certain that I would be facing the same Big Brother mentality as my high school: firewalls and restrictions at every turn– easily jumpable for we the people of the techy generation– and a great Frowning and Finger Wagging for those caught red handed. Every time I heard footsteps by my cubicle my heart would pound. I went through that internship entirely terrified of being caught looking at something other than my work, which mostly involved copying birth announcements and obituaries. It was glamorous, stimulating work that convinced me journalism may not be the right career path for me.

I discovered instead that social media has appealed to the personalities and news-junkie mentalities of almost nearly every one of my bosses since then. I’d imagine that’s what’s to be expected in PR, just another sign that I’ve gotten myself into the right industry (hopefully). I’m by no means supporting the distraction of employees from their work (unpaid interns, I feel your pain), but in this industry social media is a tool to get ahead and learn more about our craft every day. It just so happens to be incredibly addictive and fun.

6. Figure out the bathroom situation pronto and avoid poor planning.

This is one thing I’ve learned not to be shy about in the workplace or in life in general: bathroom protocol is vital to your survival sitting in a cubicle for eight hour days. I have been put in more confusing bathroom situations than I can count. I’ve gotten completely lost in buildings, forgotten important codes and locked vital keys within the restrooms they open. This tendency has put me in a number of embarrassing situations but has ensured I have a number of ‘Plan B’ options for the moments when nature calls and I’ve already screwed it up.

When you learn the bathroom situation in your workplace, imagine all possible scenarios for idiocy, and plan accordingly. For example, if you lock the only ladies room key in the ladies room, knock on the strange door to your left, it might contain a Graphic Design firm with a key of their own. Don’t be shy, everyone will just smile and nod at you and remind you that they’ve all been there. It’s a nice faith-in-humanity moment.

5. Anyone who can ticket you, will. Know your enemy/parking situation.

Oh man. I’ve only had a car for a few months and I have already racked up 3 parking tickets and have been towed once. Yeesh. Why, you ask? Well, i’ve been caught up in some interesting parking policies. 1) At the building I work in, I’d have to pay for a garage spot (as I am a part-time employee) and 2) The front where I could park is a ‘VIP’ parking area… Very Important People with Very Important Cars only. I like to think my car is important but apparently the Mighty Parking Deity (the guy that sits in the box) does not agree. Fiddlesticks.

So, what were my options? I parked in the lot next to it, which is a little plaza with a Fridays, European Wax Center, a mattress store and a few other shops. One would assume that parking is entirely public and I was convinced I was clever. This went on for a couple of weeks until one day I returned to my car to see it had… vanished. Completely. After a few moments of disbelief I looked up to notice a ‘Tow Away Zone’ sign on the far side of the lot. As it was only on one side of the lot, I’d assumed it only applied to that certain area which i’d imagined I’d avoided. Upon calling the towing company about the status of my vehicle , they informed me tow away zones only have to be posted at hte entrances to the lot. The ransom was $104.00. Typical, Miami.

4. If you’re quiet and bored, that’s how you’ll stay.

One particularly frustrating thing as an intern is the feeling that sometimes, the higher-ups can get so wrapped up in their work that they forget you’re there. It is always wise to personally approach the team you work with to see if you can be of any assistance. It’s a great way to learn new skills and test old ones you may not have exercised– I learned Final Cut Pro, basic HTML and Sporcle game design  this way and recently re-discovered the organizing power of post-its. If they have nothing for you to do, sit down and take care of your own business, like your recently resuscitated blog.

3. Your boss has good advice.

Seriously. Talk to them. If you’re anything like me, you intern where you do because you’re looking to be behind their desk in the next five years. Talking with your employer can really give you a window into the process of furthering your career, and remind you that the track you have in mind may not be the right one, but enjoy the ride!

2. Don’t sweat the technical problems… Google has the answer! 

Every once in a while the intern will be approached to handle some nagging technical difficulty that has been plaguing the higher-ups. They approach you in a frustrated manner and seek either explanation or miracle. As someone under the age of 30, it is assumed we have a higher understanding of computers and common glitches. In a way they’re right, thanks to the power of Google. Entering those little key phrases can provide you with a wealth of solutions, although some might be harder to understand than others. Take the time to read the reasons for and the solution to the problem– you can learn a lot about computers this way.

1. Smile 

Every day, do this. Keeping a positive attitude is the best office politics– it’ll brighten up your office and make sure you stay focused and upbeat throughout the day.

It has been almost six months since my last blog post.

A few quick points about my life now:

• The accusations previously mentioned were dropped due to my affable nature and well-researched argument (score).
• I have quit smoking after six years (another blog post to come)
• I am in my second semester of my senior year of collage (TERRIFYING)

I’m working a lot, teaching a lot and learning a lot.

My return is the result of a nagging voice in my head (and in my classrooms) that is insisting I keep writing, keep honing my skills, keep finding my voice– for the sake of my career, my discipline and my first love: writing.

I’m starting my job hunt now while I’m still in the protected college bubble, fueled with the desire to find work I actually enjoy rather than scrambling to put bread on the table and a roof over my head when the familial financial umbilical cord is finally severed. Resumes, cover letters, critiques, meetings, dinners, interviews, recommendations… It is as exciting as it is terrifying.

So whoever you are; friend, stranger, spam robot or prospective employer… This is me, and this is my next chapter.

A big thank you to Perez Hilton for being awesome. Lindsay “Wtf is wrong with me i have so much money” Lohan is, as all of America, Western Europe and probably even some nomad cattle tribes in Siberia knows, going to jail.

She does it for the kids.

You’d think this would be a triumph for celebrity-obsessed middle America… Yesss punish the exceedingly wealthy and useless ginger drug addict whose life went downhill the moment she went blonde.

My only issue is that she’s being allowed to take her prescribed pills in jail… how annoying. You’d think sobriety would teach her a lesson but nooo.
Perez says:

“You can take Adderall during the day and maniacally clean your 12-by-8 cell, and then at night you can fight the effects of Ambien and hallucinate that you’re somewhere else, doing something you’re more comfortable with – like lines off of a toilet seat in the ladies room of Bardot!”

So it’s basically just the same as the average college student’s finals week without the learning.
Someone give this girl a book and a glass of water.

I also appreciated the ironic sprinkling of glitter as she entered the courtroom. Whoever did that is a genius of situational irony, and I salute you.

Wooo incarceration! Partyyy!

But wait…. while we’re still here. Which is better, her first mugshot or her latest one?

Before: "Buh?"

After: "OMG orange sux."

I kind of like the first one, it’s “lost drugged-out puppy” kind of endearing. The second one she looks a little more like Guantanamo Bay material… wait… HAS ANYONE LOOKED INTO THAT?!

Good luck in jail Lindz, enjoy the failed attempts to set you straight by putting you in a small enclosed space where all you can do is dream of all the havoc you’re going to wreak your release.

For more stuff that will make you laugh: Adderall Receives honorary Degree from Harvard

‘Nobody every said life was fair.’ It’s one of those annoying things that people say to try and help you plummet from your imaginings that life is supposed to go as planned. If your dog died, your hot water is out, or your lover leaves you, everyone will always remind you of that one righteous indignation we all hold dear: why did you expect it to?

So to avoid any heavy commentary, here are some relatively meaningless things that I realized align with the various injustices the universe chooses to disperse:

10. I CAN’T GET A HEALTHY LUNCH FOR UNDER $7.00 IN THIS CITY. UGH.

Relax, he just wants $9 for a gyro.

Much like this begging Chinese child, I am also very hungry. Although I typically don a shirt while hunting for tasty bargains, he exemplifies my desire for more money. Spare some change?

9. Clogs are back. Kill me now.

JESUS CHRIST WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I saw a few of these lame kicks on a Steve Madden advertisement and my heart just sank. First 80′s specs for hipsters and now this… Allow me to reiterate: clogs are for comfort, NOT for style. Come on now… it looks like a boot/serious shoe, but the back is open to expose your heel that has no choice but to follow along with your fashion foward backwardness.

God I hope this trend goes away… I blame clogs for being the instrument behind Florida’s worst fashion nemesis:

Tragedy.

Enough said.

8. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s relationship/offspring

Oh hai...

Seriously. They’re just too attractive. The fact that they’ve combined their genes means there’s a whole new race of Super Hot People on the horizon who will be treated as demigods.

7. Emma Watson’s career

Just as a fun fact, because I don’t have much more to say on the subject, this is what happens when you google Emma Watson:

Giggity

Anyway… although I don’t have much regard for her acting talents, she has a lot more money than me… so props for that Ms. Watson.

jooke.

6. The fact that I can’t afford anything from the House of Waris

Sigh. For those of you who don’t know this is an amazing jewelry line made by this guy:

bamf.

Who is also this guy:

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

And this guy:

The Darjeeling Ltd

Did I mention those are two of my favorite movies? Something about Sikhs man… the turban just adds such an element of tropical mystique. At any rate, that guy makes this stuff:

Covet.

Ok now that I’ve wiped the drool off my face, know what’s the greatest thing about this guy? He was just in the right place at the right time. For EVERYTHANG.

Unfortunately, any of his pieces go for around $4.3 bajillion American dollars.  Someday…

5.   There’s no such thing as blue raspberry in real life.

This popular artificial flavor boggles my mind.

omnomnom

The sad thing about blue raspberry is that it’s one of my favorite flavors. Snow cones, lollipops, jelly beans, fanta, you name it if it’s blue raspberry I’ll probably consume that magical artificial flavor. But there’s one boggling question: whereas green apple, watermelon, grape etc all exist…. there is no such thing as a blue raspberry.

Photoshop shows us what a blue raspberry might look like IRL.

So why raspberry? It doesn’t taste anything like raspberries… granted artificial grape flavor never tastes like grapes either, but this makes even LESS sense. And why blue? There’s already a blue fruit: blueberries! Raspberries, while delicious, are not blue at all. Who came up with this magical psychedelic extravaganza of a plant and why?

Just to tease me because I can’t go blue raspberry picking. Probably.

[EDIT: It's come to my attention that not one, but TWO readers, Andrew and Dave, have discovered the origins of Blue Raspberry.

"There is a blue raspberry, species Rubus leucodermis is where the flavor comes from, it’s dark blue black in color not that electric blue color you see in stores."

and

"Actually, “blue raspberry” is an old alternate name for black raspberries, particular the western variety, also called whitebark raspberries. “Black” raspberries are actually a deep purple/navy blue color (and a bit lighter than blackberries, which are related, but have a few key differences). But they’re nowhere near the garish bright blue used with the artificial flavoring. I pity the poor kids who don’t know the taste of real raspberries."

Thank you gentlemen. I shall now impart on a quest to seek the legendary blue raspberry so that the rest of the world may know the truth of its origin. Om. Nom. Nom.]

4. The fact Kate lived through the entire series of LOST even though she completely sucked after the first season.

When she wasn’t making dumb comments, staring stupidly into the camera, or messing with the minds of the two extremely hot male leads, Kate Austen was…

Oh wait that’s all she did.

For those of you who don’t know me, I spent most of the final season of this wonderful show waiting with baited breath to see this character either get riddled with bullets, slammed by the smoke monster, or just sort of not… be on my screen anymore… but spoiler alert: I WAS DISAPPOINTED.

3. When the strap of a sandal breaks just as you’re transferring to your next train on the way to work.

This is how Vader reacted when it happened to him.

It really sucks. I hope it never happens to you.

2. Despite the fact Lindsay Lohan’s going to jail for 90 days, she will probably get out early and it will probably help her career.

Crocodile tears.

Tsk tsk.

1. The fact that, provided I survive long enough to make it to this point: I will get old.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOA CRAZY OLD

And that, my friends, is the best case scenario.

You have yourselves a great day now.

Classy!

Let’s talk pop culture for a minute.

But before we do… check out this girl’s face:

Anyways… let’s review some excerpts that showed up in an article I found.

Let’s just read the first sentence, shall we?

“Miley Cyrus says despite her wild-chid behavior and “slutty” fashion sense, she’ll never become an alcoholic or drug addict.”

(facepalm)

First of all… even that sentence looks stupid. Miley Cyrus, way to stand up and be an example for the kids… for feminism and women’s lib– you’re about as good at it as Megan Fox.

Objectification is funnnn!

Of the allegations that she will turn into a slovenly druggie alcoholic, as is the pattern for women who are sex symbols before they’re 18, Miley really took a stand for her decision making skills saying:

‘I WON’T DO DUMB STUFF’

Ok, first of all… DUMB STUFF IS AWESOME. Do as much dumb stuff as you can– you are 17 and a millionaire. GO DO STUPID THINGS WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO. Do so in exotic locations if you must. THE TIME IS NOW! Hit rehab when you’re 19 and America will love you anyway.

I mean I’m all for young girls staying young, but it’s too late for you Miley and we all know it is. I mean look at yourself– Wholesomeface Hannah Montana is coming to an end and as soon as you got word of that you tore your pants off. If you’d said something like “Yeah nuts to this this, I’M RICH and I do what I want.”, I would actually believe you were a real live human being and not a robot.

Thanks Family Guy.

And she’s getting anti-drug advice from Bret Michaels. Lolwut?!

That guy must have so many awesome stories– you think YOU party!? Try being a rockstar in the 80′s. No doubt there’s a cautionary tale or two in there, but man that guy must have had a great time.

Oh and by the way:

“Miley, who’s dating Australian actor Liam Hemsworth, 20, [what kind of 20 year old dates a 17 year old, good gravy that's a statutory recipe right there] recently slammed critics who say she dresses too provocatively for her age.

‘I’LL BE A VIRGIN UNTIL I MARRY’ (zzzzzzz…)

Someone else said that…

Ok so let me get this straight… you pole dance in corsets and heels in your videos to ‘be consistent with your music’, you are dating a guy who’s 20 before you’re even 18, and you just bought a house with your MILLIONS OF DOLLARS EARNED OFF THE BACKS OF SONGWRITERS AND AUTOTUNES.

We’re Americans. We know celebrities. We’re obsessed with bringing them down to our level. Not only do we not believe you for saying these things, we also laugh at you. Why can’t ONE female celebrity just come out and say ‘Yes, I’m enjoying my fabulous wealth by buying lots of purses, shredding hotel rooms, partying my butt off! Jealousss?’

DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU STILL HAVE VALUES. WE ARE NOT INTERESTED ANYMORE.